I would like to use this space today to think deeply about my vision for my life. Specifically, I want to think about what my priorities are, and the projects I'm working on for each priority.

I want to start off by listing my different priorities in order:

  1. Schoolwork
    1. I know what it means to actively engage with schoolwork: show up to class, study a bit everyday so I don't have to cram, and really be curious about the material. I know how to do it, it's just about being patient enough to really listen in class and do the work. I need to get good grades in order to get into a graduate school program, so that's also important. What graduate school program specifically? That's for another brainstorming session.
  2. Research internship
    1. I have been slacking on this. I want to study neuroscience, and the best way to learn is by doing. I want to be more involved with the lab: do the reading, come up with ideas, develop my own study. A big part of getting into graduate school is experience in research.
  3. Filmmaking
    1. I am passionate about filmmaking and creating films that convey my perspective about the world. I have a few short films in development right now: the 2 most pressing are Desiderium and the Truth docuseries. Desiderium I will make before the end of this semester. The Truth docuseries I got a $500 grant for from UMass, and I will plan it over the winter, and shoot it over the spring.
    2. I will also take a job making videos for the UMass social media pages. I think this will provide me a lot of practice with filmmaking, I'll be making money, I'll make connections, and I'll be able to plug my personal accounts.
  4. Meditation Club
    1. I am passionate about spreading meditation to people at UMass. I want the club to be accessible for everyone, so that if someone feels called to meditate, they will have a space to be able to do so. A space to learn about yourself and others, a space to come as you are. I am hoping to run the club every weekday next semester. I won't go to every meeting, but we will have facilitators for each day.
  5. Guitar
    1. Guitar is really soothing for me. It's a creative outlet. I love singing and playing songs, making up songs even though I don't know music theory. I will continue to play covers of songs and hopefully learn music theory soon.
  6. Personal skills/development
    1. I want to do nothing more. Just sit with myself and breath and see. Not look at my phone and doomscroll. Just be where I am and do nothing.
    2. I want to speak telugu with family. I want to learn how to read and write telugu over winter break.
    3. I want to do exposure therapy everyday. Although at this point, there are diminishing returns. I am not so afraid of social interactions anymore.
    4. I want to read every night, or listen to a podcast. Be curious about the world.

Here is what I want to spend my time doing this semester and next semester:

  1. Schoolwork
  2. CodeNeuro internship
  3. Filmmaking - Desiderium short film this semester, Truth Docuseries next semester
  4. Meditation Club
  5. Filmmaking - Social Media job
  6. Guitar

I will not do my radio show next semester, which should help with my time management. I'll spend winter planning and preparing for meditation club in the spring, so hopefully it won't be an overwhelming amount of work initially. I think I should split my homework time everyday between homework and CodeNeuro. Do a bit of CodeNeuro work everyday.

The next thing I have got to brainstorm is what I want to do after college. Is it clinical psychology? What even is clinical psychology? Is it going into neuroscience research? I'll do that tomorrow.



Mind Straw #17 - Monday November 27, 2023